


Storm Clouds

by AlexanderPeterson



Series: A Little Unconventional [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex doesn't do well in thunder storms, Comfort, Filth, God help and forgive me..., Herc is a teddy bear, I mean... it IS... but IS it?, Jefferson isn't being a dick for once in his life, M/M, Or Is It?, Panic Attacks, Washington being fatherly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 16:48:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7395625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexanderPeterson/pseuds/AlexanderPeterson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing like a summer storm to bring friends together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Storm Clouds

XOXO

 

Thomas jumped when a roll of thunder shook the building and looked over into Alexander's office. Force of habit, he would always tell himself. He didn't _really_ care how Hamilton was doing. If he did would he notice the way his knuckles were turning white with his death grip on his pen and the way he started drumming his fingers on his desk and chewing his lip, or the way his shoulder started shaking and- okay maybe he cared a little.

“Sir?” He knocked on the frame of Washington's door and leaned in.

“What is it Thomas?” Washington didn't look up from the papers on his desk.

“You should go check on Hammie.” That got his attention. “I would but... Well, you know.” Thomas shrugged.

“I know. I'll take care of it.”

“As soon as you can manage.” Thomas backed out of the office and Washington sighed.

 

…

 

Alexander Hamilton, the man that could stay cool in the courtroom, hadn't panicked during the birth of his son, and paid all of his bills on time like a reasonable adult, was terrified of thunder storms. Nothing was worse than being stuck at work during one. He couldn't relax, he didn't have anything to help him cope here. John was upstate, Lafayette was out for the day. He was alone.

“Hamilton.” He didn't look up. He couldn't look up. His hand shook over his paper and he couldn't breathe. “Alexander?” Large hands covered his shoulders and he jumped. “Go home.”

“Can't. Can't leave.” Alex shook his head, still looking down at his notes. “I'm just going to stay here tonight. I'll sleep on the couch.” He nodded at the couch against the opposite wall and forced himself to keep writing.

“I don't think so.” Washington took the pen from Alex's fingers and set it down on the desk.

“Hey-!”

“Alex. Enough. I'm taking you home. You're no good like this. You're going to go home and sleep. Understand?”

“Yes sir...” Alex kept his eyes on his feet while Washington gathered his things, shoving his laptop and several folders into his backpack

“If you feel up to it later, you can work from home. Wait here. I'll get my car.” Washington shoved the bag into Alex's hands and turned on his heal before he could say anything. He hugged his bag tight to his chest and waited. He didn't know how much time had passed before there were hands on his shoulders, helping him up.

“Alex? Are you alright?” Eliza's voice was far away. “Sir?”

“I'm taking him home. Ms Schuyler, please hold my calls.” Alex was staring, unfocused, at the floor. He knew he was shaking. He could feel Eliza's hand on his arm but couldn't hear what she was saying.

“Alex?” He jumped when she squeezed his hand. “You in there?”

“Sorry. I-I have to go Liza. You know.”

“I know. Be safe. Call me if you need anything okay?” Eliza kissed his cheek and smiled softly before Washington herded him out of the office and into his car.

 

Time passed strangely on the drive to his apartment. Every flash of lightning and roll of thunder seemed to hit simultaneously. Alex kept his eyes squeezed tight and counted to himself quietly, trying to breathe though the panic that squeezed in his chest. Washington's hand was clasped over his, and he was talking. The words weren't reaching Alex's ears, but the soft noise was welcome. But when the car stopped, so did his heart. There was nothing to drown out the storm.

“Give me your keys.” Washington demanded, holding out his hand. Alex fished them out of his pocket and handed them over, keeping his eyes on the dashboard. Washington was gone and back before he could count to ten. “Come on Hamilton. Let's get you inside.” Washington grabbed his bag and put a helping arm around him, leading him up to the building. Alex leaned on the wall of the elevator, keeping his eyes closed. He watched his feet all the way to his door and listened to the jingle of his keys in Washington's hands as he unlocked the door for him.

“Thank you, sir... I can handle it from here...” Alex muttered, kicking off his shoes and sitting on his couch, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“I don't think so. Get out of your work clothes. Eat something. I'm not leaving until you do that.”

“Sir...” He sighed.

“It's George outside of the office Alexander.” Washington insisted. “Now go.”

“Okay...” Alex was more than thankful for the blackout curtians that filled his home, with only the thunder to contend with, he was starting to shake less. Not that it was easy for him to get his work shirt unbuttoned, and his belt unbuckled. He fished a pair of sweats and a tank top out of his dresser and pulled them on as quick as he could before heading back out to Washington, who had pulled his work out of his backpack and stacked it on his table. It was nice to see some semblance of order in his home and he gave a shaky smile.

“You need to restock your kitchen Alexander.” George called from the stove. “I had to dig to find anything substantial in here.”

“I spend most of my time at John's.” He shrugged.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Starting to get there.” Alex offered a weak smile. “Thank you. For helping me. I can handle it from here.”

“Not a chance son. I'm not leaving until you eat.” George ladled out two bowls of soup and handed one to Alex. “How are things with you and John?” He groaned a little as he sat down at the dining room table.

“We're doing great. We've been talking a little about moving in together. I'd be moving into his place. It's closer to the office and there's more space, plus he owns the place out right.” Alex picked at his soup and forced himself to finish it, despite the way his stomach rolled with every clap of thunder.

“That's wonderful.” George smiled. “Now I'll leave, if you still want me to.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine from here.” Alex found that the lie came easily. He had calmed down enough to fake it until his boss was out of his house. “Thanks so much.” George clapped him on the shoulder and gave Alex one more long look, like he was trying to catch him in a lie.

“Call me tomorrow morning. Let me know if you'll be coming in. Try to have a good night Alexander.”

“I will, sir. You too.” Alex watched from his window as Washington pulled away from the curb, his knuckles turning bone white from how hard he was clenching his fists. Being alone was setting him off again. He should have had George stay, at least until the storm was over. It would have been nice to have the company. He paced the length of his apartment- living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. Bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room. He was honestly surprised that he hadn't worn a dent into the floor with how often he paced that same track. He counted ten laps before he made himself stop and sit down on the couch, clicking on the TV and turning up the volume, noise complaints be damned. He sat through the end half of a Community rerun, drumming his fingers on his knee before he reached for his phone, his thumb hovering over John's contact information for what felt like an eternity before he decided against it and shook his head. John was busy upstate, he didn't want to bother him. Several people had tried to call Lafayette over the course of the day but his phone was off so he was a no go. Panic welled in his throat before he hit 'call' on Herc's contact.

“ _This is Mulligan, how can I help you_?” Just hearing the deep voice over the line started to calm Alex's frayed nerves.

“Herc it's Alex. Are you busy?” He had answered the phone like he was at work.

' _You idiot. It's the middle of the day. He's probably in the middle of an appointment. He doesn't have time for you..._ '

“ _Alex? You okay?_ ” He flinched and wiped at his cheeks. When had he started crying?”

“Yeah...” He answered in a weak whisper.

“ _I said I just finished my last appointment of the day, so I'm free. What's up?_ ”

“Can... You come over?”

“ _Are you crying? Alex what's wrong? Are you okay?_ ”

“No...”

“ _What's happening? Are you hurt?_ ” Hercules' voice sounded strained over the line.

“No, no. Not hurt. Just please... Hurry...”

“ _I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Just hold on okay? Can you stay calm for me?_ ” Hercules kept his voice even and Alex could hear him moving around the shop. “ _I just locked up. I'm going to go get a cab. I'll be there soon._ ”

“Thanks Herc.”

“ _No problem. Love you._ ” The line went dead before Alex could say anything else. He stared at his phone, his hands shaking.

' _Probably just force of habit..._ ' He told himself, turning up the volume on the TV more. ' _That's all. It didn't mean anything_.'

About ten minutes later the door buzzed and Herc's voice came over the intercom.

' _Alex, it's me. Let me up._ ' Alex pulled himself off the couch and unlocked the front door and the door to his apartment, before shuffling back to the couch and curling up in his blankets again. Hercules came in and kicked off his shoes and pulled his jacket off as he walked over and knelt down in front of Alex.

“Are you alright?” He asked, his brow pinched. “Alex you're crying... What happened?” He wiped at Alex's cheeks softly.

“The storm...” He choked out. “I don't... I can't...” He was shaking and actually didn't mind someone seeing him like this for once. Hercules wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in tight. Not even John had seen him this bad before. He knew about the panic attacks, he had helped him through a few of the more mild ones, but he had waited too long to get help for this one and now he couldn't even form the words to tell Hercules what was happening.

“You gotta talk to me honey.” Herc's hands were gentle on his back, rubbing soft circles into his shoulders. “Tell me what's happening.”

“I can't be alone during storms...” Alex whimpered out. “Bad memories from...”

“From where?”

“From home...” He choked. He didn't want to talk about home. He didn't want Hercules to know about his home. Not him, or Lafayette, or even John. He was ashamed of where he had come from. To his credit, Hercules didn't pry. He just held on tighter and pulled the blanket that Alex had been wrapped up in around the both of them and turned the volume on the TV up a little more.

“Talk about something else.” He prompted. “Something you like.” Alex closed his eyes and rested his head against his friend's chest, blocking out the sounds of the storm with the sound of his heartbeat.

“Food from back home. My mom's cooking.” He smiled a little. “She made the best damn chicken in the world.”

“Keep talking. Whatever you want to say.” Hercules urged. “Tell me about John. He makes you happy.”

“I've never been happier.” Alex felt a blush rising up his neck to his ears and cheeks. “I want... and I know this is going to sound crazy... I think I want to marry him.”

“That's great Alex.” Alex tried to ignore the hitch he heard in Herc's voice. “I'm glad you two are happy.”

“But...” Alex trailed off, giving him room to add on.

“Nothing. You know. We already talked about it. Up at John's place upstate. But I am glad you two are doing well.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I...” Hercules hesitated. “I do, but it doesn't feel right to talk about it without John and Lafayette. We all agreed to come back to it in a couple months if we still feel the same.” Alex nodded.

“I still think it's a great idea.” He sighed. “If I could spend my life with the three of you, I would be the happiest man on Earth.” He didn't see Hercules smile, but he felt it in the way his arms wrapped tighter around his waist, pulling him in closer to his chest and in the soft kiss that was pressed to the top of his head.

…

 

He didn't know when he fell asleep, but when he woke up, Alex breathed a sigh of relief. Hercules was still with him, the TV was still on, the volume a little softer now, and the wind and the rain sounded like they had slowed down quite a bit. Hercules snored lightly under him and Alex smiled, tucking his head back under his chin. He loved cuddling with John but Hercules was just so _big_ , he was totally engulfed in his arms and it was nice.

Alex wiggled around a bit, trying to get comfortable enough to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep and Hercules _groaned_ under him. He froze, and one of Hercules' hands tightened on his hip tugging him closer.

“ _Merde..._ ” He hissed out, feeling the hard line of Herc's cock pressing against his thigh. “Herc. Hey. Wake up.” His pestering was met with a low growl deep in his chest.

“Just go back to sleep baby girl.” Hercules grumbled, and Alex made two mental notes. One to tease Lafayette _mercilessly_ about this, then the second- to have John call him that sometime.

“Herc...” He whined, trying to wriggle free again. “C'mon. Let me-” He broke off with a sharp gasp when Hercules kissed his neck and ground his hips up against him.

“Stay.” He whispered, and Alex melted into his arms, laying on top of him with his back pressed to his chest and his ass against his dick, which he was trying _very_ hard to ignore. He whined and tried his best not to squirm, waiting until Hercules was snoring again to try to get up.

“Shit you're strong, even in your sleep.” He grunted, wiggling until the arms around his hips loosened enough for him to slip out, and gave himself a moment to be proud of the accomplishment before he realized that his foot was tangled in the blanket and he fell to the floor in a heap.

“Alex?” Hercules sat up. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yep. I'm golden.” He groaned from the floor. “Never been better.”

“Come back up here and go back to sleep.” Hercules yawned, stretching his arms over his head and folding them behind his neck.

“I'll uh...” Alex could feel his face heating up and he licked his lips nervously. “I think I'll pass for now.” He stammered out, glancing down at Herc's lap then back up at his face.

“Come back up.” He insisted again, his voice a low rumble as he held a hand out to Alex.

“Hercules...”

“Alexander. Come here.” Alex shivered but stood and climbed back onto the couch, straddling Mulligan's lap and whimpering when he groaned and put a hand on his hip, his fingertips digging in just enough to hurt a little. “That's it.” He sighed, pulling him forward a bit and rocking his hips up slowly.

“ _Mon Dieu_...” Alex moaned and hung his head, ashamed at how hard he was, and at how much he wanted the man under him to fuck him until he felt claimed. The slow roll of their hips, still clothed cocks rubbing together just enough to tease with the promise of pleasure, but not enough to get either of them off, was driving him mad.

“Don't look away.” Hercules touched his cheek and gently tipped his head up to look into his eyes.

“I don't... we shouldn't...” Alex felt the moment that his brain short-circuited, when Hercules held two fingers against his lips and slipped them into his mouth, effectively shutting him up and pulling a strained moan from him.

“Good boy.” Hercules groaned, his other hand working at pushing Alex's sweatpants down off of his hips. Alex sat up on his knees a little more to help the process along, keenly aware of the saliva dripping out around Herc's fingers and down his chin. “You want another?” Alex nodded, trying to swallow around the two thick fingers already pressing against his tongue and opening for the third. He gagged a little and moaned when Hercules started thrusting his fingers in deeper slowly, his other hand moving to unbutton his own pants and pushing them down enough to free his cock. “How do you want it Alexander? Do you want to ride me? Or do you want me to just pin you down and fuck you until you can't breathe?” Alex moaned and squirmed on top of Hercules, trying to use his tongue to push out the three fingers in his mouth. “Try.” Hercules urged him, holding his hand still, keeping his fingers right where they were.

“F-fuck...” Alex slurred, whimpering. “I wan-” He gasped in a lungful of air when the fingers left his mouth. They stayed against his lips though, teasing, waiting. “I want to ride you.” He panted. “Please. God please let me.” He begged.

“Anything you want.” Hercules pressed his spit-slick fingers to his hole and Alex moaned when the first one slipped in. “That's my good boy. You open up so nice for me Alexander.” He praised, adding a second finger. “You're so tight. I wonder if you can even take my cock. Just my fingers are filling you up.”

“I can take it.” Alex insisted, panting and rolling his hips down to push Hercules' fingers in deeper. “Please-” He gasped. “Please.”

“Just a little more, okay?” Hercules leaned up to kiss Alex's neck. “I don't want to hurt you.” The third finger pressed in and Alex let his head fall forward onto Hercule's shoulder.

“Fuck.” He whispered. “Holy shit... Herc please.”

“Be patient.”

“I can't!”

“You 'can't' or you 'don't want to'? There's a big difference.” Hercules teased.

“I don't want to!” Alex was practically sobbing. “Please!”

“Suck my cock sweetheart. Get it nice and wet.” Alex hurried to obey once Hercules pulled his fingers from his ass.

“Christ...” He whimpered, wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and giving a long, slow stroke before licking up the side, holding eye contact the whole time and giving a pleased hum around the head of his cock when he saw his jaw go slack and his head tip back over the arm of the couch. Alex moaned and sunk down lower when Hercules tangled his fingers in his hair and tugged.

“Fuck. I might just keep you there.” Hercules groaned, running his fingers back through Alex's hair. “I might just come down your throat.” Alex whined, but kept his lips wrapped around his cock. “No? Well if you want me to fuck you then you're gonna need to come back up here.” Alex crawled back up into Herc's lap and blushed when he grinned up at him.

“What?” Alex laughed.

“You.” Hercules laughed back. “You're so – …” Alex froze. Hercules' lips were moving but there was no sound coming out. He couldn't hear the TV either. Or the wind or the rain. Everything was quiet.

“What?” His own voice felt far away, muted, like he was hearing it under water.

“Alex? Are you –...?” ' _alright sweetheart_?' Alex tried to shake his head, tried to open his mouth, anything. There was a crack, then the distinct sound of glass shattering and wind howling and he ducked down against Hercules' chest, his hands coming up to cover the back of his neck. Somewhere a girl was screaming, and another was shouting at him.

“ _Alexander! Get downstairs! Go! I've got her, just go!_ ”

“– _ander_...?” Was that Hercules? “Alexander?” Someone was shaking his shoulder. “Alex!”

 

Alex sat straight up and his eyes shot open.

“Hey... hey...” Hercules pulled him back down gently. “Alexander? Are you with me?” Alex tried to nod but he was shaking too hard. “Shh... You're okay. Hey. Look at me.” Hercules cupped his face in his large hands and tilted his chin up. “Tell me your name.”

“A-Alexander H-Hamilton...” He stammered out, trying to look around, the wind and thunder were louder than they had been when he had fallen asleep.

“What's my name?”

“Hercules Mulligan.”

“Where are we?” Alex froze up. “We'll come back to it. What is your boyfriend's name?”

“John Laurens.”

“What is _my_ boyfriend's name?”

“Do I have to say the whole thing?” Alex joked weakly. Hercules shook his head with a smile. “Lafayette.”

“Very good. What are the names of your ex-wife, her sisters and your son?”

“Eliza Schuyler. Angelica and Peggy. And my son is Philip Hamilton. He's six years old, and he's coming over tomorrow for the weekend.”

“You're doing great. I just need you to stay with me. Keep looking at me okay?” Alex nodded. His heart had started to slow down but a fresh wave of panic hit him.

“Am I hurt? Herc, please, you have to tell me if-”

“Shh. You're okay. You aren't hurt. You're safe. Who is your least favorite person in your office?”

“Thomas Jefferson...” Alex grumbled.

“That's great. Alex, you were having a nightmare. You were screaming. Can you tell me what happened?”

“It wasn't bad at first... just the end...” Alex shook his head. “I'm sorry...” He whispered. “I can't...”

“It's alright. You did good. You did very good Alexander.” Hercules pulled him in for a tight hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Do you want to call John?” Another shake of the head.

“No... I don't want to bother him. Can we just watch a movie? Nothing on TV. The show the storm warnings...”

“Sure thing. Can I get up to get it all set up?”

“Yeah.” Alex scooted off of his lap and watched him get up slowly, his knees cracking.

“Snacks?”

“I think there's some popcorn in the cabinet and beer in the fridge.” Alex picked at a loose thread on the blanket. “I need to go grocery shopping.” He added when Hercules made his way into the kitchen. “Please don't judge me.”

“Oh I'm judging you.” Hercules called back.

“I'm a single, twenty-something man.” Alex defended himself. “What do you expect.”

“You're not single.”

“I live alone and I'm not married, the law defines me as 'single'.” He could practically hear Hercules rolling his eyes at him.

“You're a nightmare Hamilton.”

“So I've been told.” He cuddled into his friend's side the moment he was back and hummed, content for the moment when he wrapped his arm around his shoulders and ran his fingers through his hair. “That dream I was having...” He started.

“I know.” Hercules cut him off. “You talk in your sleep.” He pressed a kiss to his cheek, close to the corner of his mouth. “Someday.” Alex felt his whole face heat up and he stammered out half formed words before Hercules grabbed his chin and kissed him soundly. “Be patient.”

 

XOXO

 

**Author's Note:**

> …......hi c:  
> I'm sorry. For a few things. One- for hurting Alexander. He is my son (and my namesake) and I love him but I needed to project my horrible storm anxiety onto him for obvious reasons. Two- for the beginnings of smut. When I was starting this, I told myself NO but look what happened. I'm horrible and apparently cannot be stopped. And three (goes along with two)- for not following through with that smut. I realized about halfway through writing it that it felt rushed and out of place so dreams it is. Literally my most (and least) favorite trope.
> 
> And yes, these four STILL need to talk about the whole "let's date" thing, but what they did decide on was that they would come back to it in a few months (after the events of "First Trip") and if they still felt the same way they would give it a try. We'll see that soon. I hope.
> 
> Grounding methods used here reflect things that have worked for me in the past.
> 
> As always, comments, kudos, and bookmarks will grant you access to my VIP party in hell. Join me, won't you? Thanks for reading!
> 
> Much Love,  
> Alex
> 
> ps this is not proofread, it's 4:30 in the morning and I need to go to bed so please forgive mistakes.


End file.
